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Hi girls! hope u're all good here. I start this thread cos I'd like to get some feedback on something I'm experiencing in my current relationship and I'd like to get a female's perpective on this issue. I'm gonna post what I posted on a thread a while ago.

"I feel such relief by having ran into this thread and finding out that there are a lot of guys out there who are in a similar position. In my case I'n not married, but I have I girlfriend who I love very much. We've been together for almost two years and I really consider myself very lucky to have met her. She is by far the woman I've been more comfortable with in a relationship. I've never considered the idea of getting married and being with her has made me consider that option. She is a great partner and I feel very much love by her and I like that a lot. On the other hand, I could describe myself as a very sexual guy, I LOVE having sec and everything around it. I love how good it feels to enjoy every inch of someone's body. To know that u desire someone so much that u need to touch, kiss, lick and taste someone's body in every way possible simply turns me on so much. I love knowing that someone else feels the very same about me and most of all I like to know that that person just can't have enough of me so she needs to touch me in the very same way. It's been like that with my previous girlfriends and hookups as well. I remember I had a girlfriend who would just worship my cock, use it, suck on it, ride it and taste it in every way she could possibly could. I've been with a couple of dudes that have done the same and I just love knowing that someone is really hot for my dick and shows how much she/he seems to just can't get enough of it and says how delicious my penis is. I go crazy for that (what guy doesn't, right). So my current girlfriend is just not as sexual as I would like her to be. During the first 6 months or our relationship we used to have sex regularly; at least 4 times a week (I had a girlfriend long time ago that loved keeping track of how many times we had sex during a week and the least was 10, an we made it once to 25 times in a week hehe), now we barely do it once every two weeks. She loves to cuddle and she's the romantic type of girlfriend. We've argued about it before and she says that whenever we fight over sex she just doesn't want to do it and I tell her that I bring it up cos unless I talk about it we never talk about sex. I love going out with her and having drinks and enjoying being together, flirty and shit, but when we come back home one would think that "oh yes... we are just gonna flirt some more to really get in the mood and start teasing each other and without having to say it u know that u just want to make love to each other or just simply fuck each other's brains out or engage whatever sexual activity"; but NOOOOO... she usually wants to have a conversation about whatever, or talk about work (even when we have taken our clothes off and are on our underware) and I just get frustrated and loose interest in talking or having sex. Sometimes I tell her that "let's just go to sleep", she asks what happened? and I say "we were out talking all night about this and u prefer keep talking about the same shit over and over again instead of just being flirtatious with me?" sometimes she just says she's tired and wants to sleep, she sometimes apologizes cos she knows that that was the intention but she just felt "really tired all of the sudden" and adds "I'll promise I'll wake u up in the middle of the night to surprise me; which in all honesty it's only happened like two times in this two years, and in the morning I'd be surprised if she goes along with me if I wake up feeling horny. I'd love to cuddle with her after having sex but that would happen if we did it at night so we can go to bed cuddling like she always says she wants, but I've just lost the willing to go to bed and cuddle with her. She asks why we don't cuddle anymore and I just tell her I'm just too tired and fall asleep real quick. Sometimes we just end up facing away in bed all night for days. At first I was the one who always tried initiating or sorta proposing sex but I ended up being turned down and rejected by her so often that I said to myself "fuck it, this is just too damn annoying!" I usually go to the bathroom and jerk off when I'm horny, whether we are cooking, laying in bed watching tv, before I go to bed or I wake up in the middle of the night with a hard on and just go to the bathroom for a wank. When we do have sex is really good, although she mostly prefers having me on top, and one thing I really love is the fact that she is by far the best at jerking me off. She really does an amazing job at playing with my cock with her hands and does a smooth job massaging my balls while she is stroking my dick. Blowjobs are... well, lemme just say that in the two years that we've been together I've only gotten head from her twice; she isn't really a fan of'em (which I kinda knew from the beginning but I thought I was gonna be okay with that thinking that maybe at least I'll get a blowjob once a month - ugh -).

I still love her dearly and don't get me wrong, she does make an effort from time to time, but most of the times she seems into having sex is because I stop showing affection nor interest for her. I decided that I rather do that than just start an argument which mostly leads to end up having a fight over that. She started being more open about having sex when I told her once that I was just not gonna have sex with her anymore since she didn't seem nor show any sort of interest in it at all. I told her that I didn't feel like she really wanted me that way so that's why I had stopped being "cute" and flirty with her, so that was at least a wake up call for her. She started saying that she really loved having sex with me but that she just wasn't as open about it as I was so that made her feel bad but that she was gonna make a better effort into changing that. Still working on that though...

P.S.: I apologize for I'm sure I started rambling and got all over the place at the end but it was just something I needed to get of my chest and I'm glad that I found a place to do it without feeling like I was the only one going through the same shit. Peace."

I'd appreciate what u girls have to say on this.
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SloStroker Omnipitant Jackinchatter

7249 posts since 2006-08-21
52 year old bisexual male from Nashville, TN
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I'm not female, but I've been with the same woman for 20 years, married 18. I love her very much, but her sex drive is almost nothing. We seldom have sex.

I've learned to take care of my desires with porn and masturbation. My wife understands my sex drive and she doesn't get upset about my masturbation habit. We are looking for a house right now and it was her idea for me to have a spare room to masturbate in so I won't be disturbed. She told me, "You can get naked and play with yourself all day if you like".

At first the lack of sex really bothered me, but now it doesn't. I honestly think masturbation is better.
Check out my porn blog at https://slostroker.bdsmlr.com/ and my writing blog at https://slostroker.wordpress.com or catch me on Skype as SloStroker
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