My Dad told me nothing
My mother told me to stay away from slutty girls which i didnt cus they were fun and taught me all i needed to know about sex and masturbation

Told me retarded kids did it too much. Told me not to do it too much, not to wear it out before I got married, or to make a mess for mom to clean up.

I didn't heed his advice.

I don't think many of would have heeded that advice!
Although Mom never had to clean up after me.

Nothing about masturbation per se, but I did get a talk when he found my porn stash before I headed off to college.

Told me that stuff would rot my brain and make me sick, and to throw them away and get a girlfriend instead. He never mentioned it again.

I assume he never checked or anything, because I never did throw them away.

My dad was very anti-masturbation and very intimidating about that subject. I never even mentioned about about being gay!

My dad is also a pastor and we did have a conversation about it, but it was very brief and very little was said. It happened when I was about 13 and I'm sure the fact that I was masturbating was obvious to my parents even though I thought I was being discreet (the long showers and frequent need for new tissue boxes in my bedroom were likely a dead giveaway). The talk we had was the full birds and bees talk, which was pretty basic (hair is going to grown down there, erections are because of sexual arousal, don't have sex until marriage, etc). All he said about masturbation was that he was sure I was doing it, that all guys do it, but to do it as little as possible, to do it in my bed at night, and to clean up after. Since seemingly no one else was told anything by their father it seems as if my dad, despite being a pastor, was pretty progressive.

I'm unmarried and don't have any kids, so I've never had "the talk" with a young man myself, though we did address the issue on our annual sex talk night at youth group back when I was a youth pastor. I've also had parents ask my advice about what to say and how to handle it. One single mother one asked me to talk to her teenage son, and I simply gave her advice on what to say and told her that it would be better if it came from her, as uncomfortable as that may be, than it would be coming from me.

"It's a filthy habit so stop it", or words to that effect.

Absolutely Nothing. Conversation never went within a 100 miles of any sexual topic

Same here. Sex ed was what I learned from school and peers.

same

Same here, I was taught about wanking from my school friends when I was about 12.

My father's exact quote was:

"If you do it too much you'll go blind. Which is why--you may notice--I have to wear glasses."

NOTHING was ever said ! My father was an abusive alcoholic, I avoided talks & and so did he. Just don't get the girl preg, which I did ( another thread )
I found out from a friend. During sleep overs he would show me things his older neighbor showed him ( again another thread ).

I guess my experience is pretty different from most guys. My dad was very open about masturbationg, and we talked about it frequently. He thought it was normal and healthy, and he encouraged me to masturbate. There were even times when I played with myself in public and came in my pants, and my dad knew I was doing it.

That sounds exactly like my dad with the exception of the jacking in public thing. He was very cool with it and wasnt embarrassed to talk about it. If he caught me or vice versa, it was just a grin and left us to our own device. He always felt it was a very healthy and normal thing to do and never did anything to discourage it.