I disagree about it being cheating. Usually guys are always horny and if they're SO is not taking care of their needs, then they have to beat off more. All guys beat off so why can't we do it together either online or on the phone?

If you're honest with your partner, then everything is good. Be honest, forward and transparent with your significant other, and work with them to understand your needs, and do the same in return for them.

This 'cheat' label is really just an over-simplification of what should be a stead relationship of communication with your partner.

It's only cheating if you get caught.

Only one partner needs to believe it is cheating for it to be cheating. No matter what your opinion of the matter it is cheating if your partner thinks it is. Yes, that sucks, but thats the way it is.

My wife says having a JO bud is cheating, I disagree.

my wife for sure would think this is cheating.

but can't help myself. i feel the need for it.

Who cares? I need dick.

I font think so. You're going to jerk off, just happens to be with a friend that may help you or you help him.

Interesting topic. I travel quite a bit on business and have for over twenty years. In that time I have never cheated on my wife with another woman even though I've had plenty of offers and opportunities. That being said, it gets really boring and lonely sitting in a hotel. Meeting up with another guy to watch porn and jack off is enjoyable and keeps me out of more serious trouble. I realize it might be my way of justifying what I do, but I don't consider it cheating if it's just jacking off with another guy.

I have quite a few buds on Skype and get up to all sorts of nasty fun but is it cheating? To be honest I' don't know or care.
It is a safe and non committal way for me to get the sexual interaction I need without the risk of physical cheating. I do have sex life with my wife but it is limited by work and family commitments.

I don't like the word "cheating." What if you will never have feelings for a guy but really like to play with dick? Is that cheating? Is it less cheating than if you could develop feelings for a guy?

So, I'll say that having guy FWBs without a spouse's consent is dishonest.

However. As I'm in my late 30s, I happen to be single, but I know maaaaaaany people my age trapped in sexless marriages, or who've already divorced. But some people absolutely will not (and perhaps should not) divorce even though there's a big sexual mismatch in the marriage. That's their business. But I read Dan Savage's sex column a lot, and in these cases, his saying is "do what it takes to stay sane and stay married."

After living some pretty real sh*t the past few years, after opening up my last female partner to a lot of sexual things and then having her charge right past me into some seriously sex-positive and/or kinky shit and thus expand my horizons even after we split up (we're good friends now)... I don't judge any more. I don't think it's GOOD, but I wouldn't judge a guy for it unless he were exposing his wife to risk, or being an asshole, instead of trying to be as good as possible to everyone involved.

"Only one partner needs to believe it is cheating for it to be cheating. No matter what your opinion of the matter it is cheating if your partner thinks it is. Yes, that sucks, but thats the way it is."

Yes. This. You either redefine the terms of your relationship, or you "cheat."

And partners can have very unreasonable views of what is cheating. Some people apparently grew up under rocks and still think looking at porn is cheating. Those people need their terms redefined, I think.

This nails it. If you feel the need to keep it a secret because your partner would consider it to be cheating, then it's cheating. It's why an emotional affair that may not include sex would still be considered cheating.

Its all in how you define cheating. As it is in your interest to capture the least conduct possible, lol, define the term narrowly. Cheating =fucking. If you didn't fuck anyone outside of marriage you're good. Anyway best of luck.

If you can't discuss it openly with your partner then it is cheating.