I am married and caught up with a mate who I used to play are with when I was younger the other week.
We played around for old times sake, he is gay. He was giving me a head job and I was pulling him off. I blew in his mouth and then he went on my chest. When I was walking to the shower I felt so disgusting. I was dry reaching. The fact that some guys cum was on my chest made me sick.
I know it is not a nice picture but I want to know has anyone felt like this after feeling soooo horny.

The feeling was you cheating on your wife.

Yeah I know what you mean mate. I got talking to some bloke online a few weeks ago, after a while we decided to meet up and have a wank at his place. He offers to blow me off and I refuse, but I end up letting him jack me off instead. But the minute I nut the guilt hits me, Im at a strangers house, this blokes got his hand around my cock and my cum is all over him. I pull my pants up and leave straight away, felt like I was going to vomit on the drive home.

As you meet up....The mystery and anticipation are so enticing. The drive to overcome fear and guilt are intoxicating. And you do battle with whether you should do this or not. What if you get caught? What if the other person is dangerous? What if they have genital warts or are HIV positive? And the battle goes on.

The mutual stimulation, the swollen throbbing genitals, the sensations and naughtiness, the thrill of orgasm and the sheer brazenness of all this are mind numbing.

Then half way through the last throes of orgasm the sickness hits like a black thunderstorm. Suddenly this is a person you are with, a stranger you do not like and you still have a few minutes to be nice to them. As you clean up you wonder what got into yourself. You vow "never again." You are disgusted with yourself. You decide you are terribly sick. You want to get help, but there is no one you dare tell to get help. No, you will do it on your own. You only want your wife and no one else.

But by the time you arrive home, and your wife isn't there you are checking Craigslist. And the battle goes on.

But that night you hold her. Make love to her. And she is 1,000,000 times better than the stranger. And you love her. Enough to protect her, die for her. And the battle goes on.

Yeah there is soo much more to it than just the guilt of cheating on your wife. It's tough because there is no libido clouding your judgement. I've been ready to find a jo buddy for a long time but I'm afraid in the moment I would lose control and suck him and probably have it in my ass and I don't know that I'm ready for that. If you've decided that was enough for you and you never want to do it again chalk it up as an experience, don't tell your wife No need to crash your and her world when you aren't going to do it again.

Wow that was incredibly well put. You are a wise man my friend.

I'm not married, so there's no guilt, but I totally get where you're coming from. I like to say, I'm bisexual until about 10 seconds after I come. It always amazes me how your perspective can change so quickly. You can be desperately horny and loving every minute of your "naughty time," but then, within the span of a few seconds, everything changes, and you are left wondering what you were thinking.

For me, it makes me realize how much we are a product of our chemical and biological makeup. The release of a few chemicals can completely alter our perception of the world around us. Practically helpless to defend against it. You can get used to it. Now, after I cum, I know what to expect, and you can find a strategy to make it less uncomfortable.

We are at the mercy of our biological urges sometimes.

I have the opposite reaction which has lead me to accept that I am bisexual. I love the feeling of having cum on me or the taste of a big load in my mouth. After I cum, I prefer to lay naked and shoot the breeze a bit. Hate the guys who jump up, get dressed and bolt.

My best friend in HS and I used to stroke and suck each other. Lots of times we spent the night with each other and when we'd cum we couldn't leave. Many times we ended up doing it again.

Fatguy and unregistered: Both have very good insight thinking about our biological drives and such! I don't believe its really feeling cheating on wife though. That just seems like an excuse for cop out on what was done. Anyway it makes it a very good topic to discuss!

Unregistered/Gigglebutton and Fatguy describe two different reactions, either you are schooling yourself to put that reaction in its place, or you've found out damn well that it's a part of a vicious, destructive cycle that's eventually going to tear apart something you truly care about, a lot.

Advice I've gotten: Addictive cycles can (should?) be addressed by substituting a healthier or less damaging addiction -- You get to pick one, something you already like works best. Get into one that won't break your wallet or your reputation, and let yourself go wild with it -- otherwise you'll OD on something else or end up right back where you don't want to be.
Sex -- you can't give it up, any more than you can stop eating, so know where your red-line limits are, then be sure you have an orgasm to satisfy it and then go run, motorbike, lift, metal-detect, or whatever else makes the clock stand still for you.
When you start to feel shaky and are about to go into that cycle again and pick up the phone to someone you really don't want to end up on the sofa with, masturbate if you can -- but also go pick up your alternate addiction, and just after your next orgasm when you start to reflect, congratulate yourself -- you just handled a real problem.
But also be aware that when you're congratulating yourself is the easiest time to assume you're okay and do that other thing you didn't want to do.

There are some wise people on this thread. It is true about the cycle. It is an addiction that if kept going will end up hurting more people than myself. I just find it really strange that once I've come my whole perspective on life has changed.

It says impressive things about you -- that you could put this issue out here as clearly and painfully as you did. Nothing I've ever read on here is any wiser than that first little post of yours.

I find the cycle so insidious and painful -- especially that the time we are so confident we have everything solved and in control -- is exactly the time we are most likely to go ahead and let ourselves do one of those things we already know we are gonna regret.

Must be part of being human.

"How will I feel about this once I've come?" as you put it, is the question we all shouldn't ignore.

I would consider myself straight but have thought about finding a jerk off bud(maybe try mutual stroking) but craigslist seems sketchy most of the time and i can never go through with actually meeting anyone... I only think about it when horny also once cum lose and feel very odd about that urge... I think im more into the fantasy of having a bud to just jerk with when horny and nothing more

Its true, the overpowering sexual urge (lust even), completely short circuits 'the sensible me'.

Its not only Gay sex that left me dry wretching though.


I can be relaxing at home after work, watching TV, preparing a meal, when the overpowering need to satisfy my urges, is too much, I find myself watching porn, online , and sometimes wearing holdups, with a butt plug in, preparing for a dildo, sometimes cock rings as well...then when I finally blow my load, suddenly realisation hits me, WTF am I doing, is that the time I spent doing this?, strip everything off and dive into the shower.....then return to what I was doing..finding the cooker alarm beeping, or the programme I was watching, long finished...

I have 'accomodated' a few times at home, met different people, (both sexes), sometimes completely bizzare behaviour, online 'up for it' when they arrive totally different persona. I have one regular Bi Guy, i play with, we both have visted a Gay Sauna together. so buddy up. We found a really great way to relax,and enjoy the pleasures we give each other.

Everyone on this thread seems keen to ignore the possibility that the "horny you" that is being blamed by some as due to being at the mercy of your biochemistry, isn't the real you. Isn't it more likely that you feelings of lust for being with another man are the real you and the guilt comes form your worry about how the rest of society would judge you over it, so you repress it and make it a thing of guilt due to conditioning? Also, over the question of whether being with a guy counts as cheating on your wife or not, if you are so confident it isn't cheating on her, why not ask her what she thinks about it? If you have to keep it a secret, but don't feel it's cheating, ask yourself why. Try a little empathy now and again - the person you go meet is no less worried about you being a disease-ridden psycho than you are about them. If you go to their place, at least have the decency to try and hold it together long enough to not make them feel uncomfortable. After all, why are you at their place? Why not do it at your home if you want things all on your terms? This is another human being you're interacting with - don't make them feel shit because you can't deal with your own desires.